Your Progress

Lesson 3: Criticism, Morale & Reduced Stress

A. Giving & Receiving Criticism in a Way that Works

Now that we’ve focused on awareness of various situations and how to assert ourselves, it’s time to start looking at ways to improve things. Dealing with giving and receiving criticism is an important first step.

Ask yourself the following questions about criticism (extracted these from the book Nobody's Perfect: How to Give Criticism and Get Results by Weisinger and Lobsenz).

Does being criticized tend to make you feel angry, resentful, belittled, or rejected?
Do you at times sometimes make others feel that way even unintentionally by critical remarks?
Do you hesitate to give what you honestly believe would be helpful criticism for fear of offending someone?

One of the most difficult things for most people to deal with is criticism. Although it can be a way of learning more about ourselves, growing, developing new attitudes, most of us are uncomfortable not only with giving it but receiving it. Most of the time our responses are defensive, unproductive, or counterproductive. Three of them that are usual denial and defensive responses are listed here.

Usual Defensive / Denial Responses

Click > to hear about how people often tend to respond to criticism.

FIGHT	FLIGHT	PLACATE
Argue Defend yourself Become physical "Pull rank" Accusations	Ignore Leave Withdrawn Quit job Limit participation	Superficially accept Self-efface Submit without questioning

Responding Assertively to Criticism*

Click > to hear about better ways to respond to criticism.

	ACCEPT THE CRITICISM. When a criticism is realistic, your most powerful assertive response may be simple acceptance of the criticism, an acceptance that does not apologize, does not defend, and does not put yourself down.
	DISAGREE WITH THE CRITICISM. There are times when criticism does not fit There are occasions when criticism is based on false information. If this is the case, it is important not to accept the criticism. It is important to disagree.
	SET LIMITS WITH THE PERSON WHO IS CRITICIZING YOU. This technique involves teaching another person how we expect to be treated. This includes teaching another person how to give us negative feedback.
	"FOG" AWAY THE CRITICISM. Neither agree nor disagree with a criticism. Use basic expressions such as, '"You may be right," "I can see how you might think that," "That may be true, " "Sometimes I am that way (selfish, distant, messy, etc.)."
	DELAY YOUR RESPONSE. There are times when criticism takes you completely by surprise. You may feel confused and not know what you want to say. You can simply verbally indicate the confusion, surprise, and/or disappointment that the criticism provokes. "I'm really confused about that criticism Let me think about it for a few minutes."

From When I Say No I Fed Guilty. Manuel Smith.

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About this Lesson

Lesson 3 talks about giving and receiving criticism, improving morale, and reducing work stressors.

A. Giving & Receiving Criticism: Discover how to respond assertively.

B. Constructive Criticism: A checklist to assure positive results.

C. Improving Morale: Tactics for handling complaints, gossip, excessive responsibilities and building group cohesion.

D. Reducing Stress: Tackling job dissatisfaction, boredom, changes, excessive responsibilities, and difficult relationships.